This activity will give participants an opportunity to examine phrases that often create or escalate conflict.

1. Introduce the activity by telling the participants they are going to look at counterproductive words and phrases that often create or escalate conflict--that is, the words and phrases that send up a "red flag" or make you "see red."

2. Pair up participants and ask each pair to come up with phrases that often appear in conflicts (sending up a red flag), either causing or escalating Conflict. Give examples such as You always, Your problem is, Don't tell me what I'm thinking, etc. Tell participants you will time them, and then see which pair comes in with the most phrases in 5 minutes.

3. At the end of the time, have people call out the words or phrases they came up with. Discuss what the red flags were and write them on the screen (white  board or flip chart).

4. Then ask the pairs to work together again, this time to identify words or phrases they think can help avoid conflict or reduce it. Allow 5 minutes.

5. At the end of the 5 minutes, have participants call out their new words or phrases and write them on the screen.

Conclusion:

Discuss the impact of language on conflict. Ask questions such as:

• What happens when you hear words and phrases like those in the second group? <li ">Which of the two assignments was easier?