Are you putting emotional intelligence to work?  It is an increasingly important ability that can be utilized in times of transition or stress, in order to lead an organization through a difficult time.  At times, talent and experience are not enough to be a successful leader; now we understand that emotional intelligence has a vital role in people who become successful.

Take Abraham Lincoln, for example.  He has been written about more than any other president in history.  Of course, the monumental turmoil and changes that the country experienced during his presidency were historic.  Still, there is something about Lincoln that keeps people coming back for more.  So, what are some of the hallmarks of his leadership style?  According to Doris Kearns Goodwin, presidential historian, “What Lincoln had, it seems to me, is an extraordinary amount of emotional intelligence.  He was able to acknowledge his errors and learn from his mistakes to a remarkable degree.  He was careful to put past hurts behind him and never allowed wounds to fester.”

Emotional Intelligence, often referred to as EQ, consists of four main areas:

Perceiving emotions: The ability to perceive your own emotions and the ability to detect emotions, voices and pictures of others.

Using Emotions: The ability to make different cognitive activities, like problem solving and thinking.

Understanding Emotions: Knowing how to comprehend emotion language and distinguish complicated relationships between emotions.

Managing Emotions: The ability control and manage emotions in ourselves and others. So you can manage even negative emotions and achieve your goals.

So what is an emotionally intelligent leader?  Here are the main qualities:

1.      Having the ability to harness and utilize the ambitions and egos of rivals for the greater good.

This is often the best way to make sure the decision that comes out of the team is followed.  Think of each member on this kind of team as a “confederate”—if their opinion is not given consideration, they are ready to undermine the group.  This gives an automatic check and balance to the system; each member is ready to fight for what they think is right, or impact the process negatively.

2.      Sharing the responsibility for mistakes of others.

As the leader, it is up to you to share in the mistakes of your subordinates.  Regardless of whether you had responsibility or not, errors that happen under your clock fall under your oversight.  Standing by them at those times will build trust. Here is the key idea: If you are willing to share the responsibility, your employees will be more willing to take risks with innovation and new ideas. 

3.      Learning from your own mistakes and using the lessons learned in future challenges.

Do you have any regrets?  The truth is that regrets can serve us.  Did you know that feeling regret actually triggers activity in the part of the brain that stimulates reasoning and emotion? 

Regret can help you make sense of events and remedy them.  Of course, sometimes we all have a case of “hindsight bias” in which the right action seems all too obvious when looking in the rearview mirror.  If you can temper that tendency, you can use this emotion to improve decision making and clarify your values, so you are better equipped to solve any issues, in the future. 

4.      Carefully packing away unproductive grudges.

Any negative experiences you may have had with a colleague can taint your ability to move the organization forward.  Once a tense or hairy situation has passed, consider looking at that colleague in a new way, and turning a page on that professional relationship. –I know that this can be a tough one, but trust me; it will pay off in the long run.  When you find yourself reliving previous tense interactions, stop yourself and imaging things going well with this person in your next interaction.  There is no guarantee here; it has been proven that having positive feelings tends to create positive experiences.